Holding On
by Miss-Hirokins.x
Summary: Hiro and K's lives are changed forever when they discover something between them. As this dangerous affair begins and it's path of destruction unwinds, can they stay together despite their circumstances? Hiro/K
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Hey guys! So as this is my first fanfic please don't be too negative!**

** I have had this story in my head for so long and it feels AMAZING to finally be writing it... maybe I love fanfiction a bit too much :S**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, (if I did K and Hiro would be a couple ^_^)**

* * *

Hiro gasped as he woke from the torturous dream. He growled angrily, realising the state he was in. Reluctantly, the sweat drenched teen stumbled out of the bed and into the shower. As he soaked under the hot water. he sighed, lost in thought.

_"I really am pathetic"_

It had been that same lustful dream that had grasped him from his peaceful slumbers for the third time that week. The visions of his manager's soft hands roaming freely around his pleading frame. His deep calming voice whispering into his ear. His warm soft lips touching his own... It was these sorts of things that really made Hiro wish that he had the gun. Then he could just shoot K and focus on his failing relationship with Ayaka. At the moment their dates consisted of looking at each across the cafe table, forcing small talk with false smiles plastered on their faces while their minds were completely focused on another person. Hiro knew that he should end it - to be honest he was planning on it. But that would just be giving his all into someone that was already taken.

Aggravated, Hiro stepped out of the warm jets of water and threw on his usual outfit of jeans and a T shirt. He wrapped a towel around his thick mahogany hair to soak the water. He paused, starting into the mirror hopelessly, wondering what to make of himself.

_"Look at me - Nakano Hiroshi, the guitarist of the huge band Bad Luck, a teen icon - lusting over his 36 year old manager."_

If Hiro ever let K see him like this, he would be deeply ashamed.

The reality was, ther was very little chance that K would ever fall for Hiro. There was an age gap of 17 years, not to mention that K was married with one son. And on top of that all, K made a huge point that he was 100% _straight._

Hiro would often examine these points, trying to find some reason to believe otherwise. Maybe he just married Judy for money, or vice versa? Maybe the only reason they were still married is for his child? Maybe the whole "straight" thing was just bravado? Maybe...

Deep down, Hiro knew he would just have to face the fact that his feelings for K would never be reciprocated.

Hiro was woken from his thoughts by the sound of an alarm, telling him that he had 5 minutes to get out of the house before K came over with his AK-47. Without a moments thought, Hiro threw the damp towel which he had been wearing on his head into the dirty laundry basket. He hurriedly threw on a black and white letterman jacket before grabbing his motorbike helmet and running out of his apartment. He jumped almost enthusiastically onto his motorbike and sped off on his way to N-G production studios.

* * *

K let out an exasperated sigh as he signed a contract with some company that wanted Shuichi to be a spokesperson.

_"They must be out of their minds.." _he thought to himself as he artistically signed the form. He hated paperwork of any description, even if it was just writing a postcard. K was a man of action, not letters. However, the one plus side to paperwork was the fact that he could sit in the peace and solitude of his office. From here he could gaze out of the windows and watch the world go by. A warm smile grew on his face as he saw a familiar figure dismounting a motorbike at the car park of the building. K didn't really know why Hiro's arrival made him feel so happy, after all, it was just another client. What made Hiro so significant? K snarled, becoming agitated at this. He felt this nervous coldness in his heart when his mind began to wonder if this feeling was love. Whenever he considered this point he would instantly snap out of it with thoughts of Judy, his beautiful wife. His beautiful wife that he hadn't spoken to in a week?

_"One week?" _K suddenly realised he hadn't phoned Judy or Micheal, and they hadn't phoned him either. Usually he'd be on the phone to her every night and yet, he hadn't had any contact at all with her and he hadn't even noticed. He made a mental note that he would ring her immediately when he got home.

_"But would that really solve problems?" _That question seemed to ring through K's head, making him freeze. On the surface, his marriage to Judy looked happy and peaceful, the way it should be. But away from the cameras, cracks were starting to form. He remembered how things used to be. Usually K would talk to Judy for hours on end every night. Nowadays ringing her was like a chore. Sounds of laughter came from outside, causing K to look out of his window in curiosity. Hiro and Shuichi were messing around the car park, whatever they were joking about seemed hillarious. Mr Sakano could be seen dashing out of the big glass doors of N-G production studios, scolding them both. Why did Hiro stand out? K pondered on this thought. Despite K's love for Judy and his prominent heterosexuality, one think had to be said: Hiroshi Nakano was gorgeous. Nothing could argue against that and you would have to be insane to think otherwise.

_"Hmm...there's that." _K thought as he tried to make sense of his attraction to Hiro. In all his time of working in the music industry, one thing definitely singled Hiro out from everybody else: No matter how many times K pointed his Magnum '44 at Hiro, it had never phased him. Hiro was the only client ever to stand up to him.

_"Hiro's different...he's not like the others." _K took another look out of the window, gazing at Hiro softly. Was it wrong that he found Hiro...well...sort of cute? Despite Hiro's tough image, anyone who knew him knew that he was generally the nicest person you could ever meet. But there was something about him that K found utterly adorable. Was it the way he would act like a brother to Shuichi when something had happened? The way he would gush whenever he met someone remotely famous, despite being the heart throb of a huge band? His gentle, laid back attitude? His casual style?

Suddenly, K froze.

_"Could it be?"_ He inhaled deeply and sighed._"Maybe...I really am...in love..."_

Maybe...

* * *

**Ooooh drama! Anyways as cliched as this story seems I promise it will get better!**

**I was typing this up when my friend asked me "Why do you put Hiro in a lettterman jacket when he has a perfectly fine leather one?" My answer: Because it would look awesome! Now there's a thought - why doesn't Murakami draw him in a letterman jacket :'(**

**Hmm maybe a few reviews would cheer me up...hint, hint. :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is it! Now things are really gonna start to kick off. Usually my chapters aren't this long, I guess a lot happens in this chapter and I didn't want to break it up. And once I start writing shonen-ai fanfics I become posessed. Literally.**

**Thankyou for all the wonderful reviews and all the constructive critisism! It's really helped. Now I know what you're thinking. Why don't you reply? Well the honest answer is I don't have the time. Blame school. I do love each and every one of you people who are kind enough to post a review though. Have a cookie! *Holds out platter*  
**

**Anyways, on with chapter two!  
**

* * *

Hiro gently plucked the strings of his acoustic guitar, his coveted electric one was in one of the recording booths. He looked at Shuichi's lyrics and notations, figuring out a chord sequence to match. He was interrupted by two beautiful cerulean eyes peering over the sheets of guitar tab. Hiro jumped out of his skin, nearly falling off his chair.

"K!" he gasped in shock. Had he been watching him? K laughed at Hiro's surprise reaction, aggravating him."Is this what you Americans call humour?" he asked sarcastically through barred teeth.

"Chill out man, I didn't mean to scare you!" K chuckled, still amused by the previous moment. But Hiro was in no mood for joking.

"What do you want K? If it's another suprise interview than forget it, I'm busy." Hiro lifted his hand to scribble some more chords down but was stopped by K's hand.

"And you've been busy for the entire morning. Seriously Hiro it's lunch break, at least have something to eat!" K exclaimed, his concern audible in his voice. Hiro sighed in frustration.

"Cut the crap K why are you really here?" There was an awful screeching sound as the string of Hiro's guitar snapped, slicing the side of his second finger."Ahh shit!" he shouted in pain. K cautiously raised a hand.

"Are you oka-"

"I'm fine." Hiro answered. However he couldn't hold back a small gasp as K inspected the cut on his finger. His hands were so smooth and gentle, just how Hiro had imagined them. He could feel his cheeks starting to turn a gentle crimson."_This is bad..."_ Hiro thought, scared that his secret would be revealed if K continued much longer.

"Are you sure, I mean that looks pretty bad..." Hiro whipped his hand away before K could finish. He lifted his head up, smiling contently.

"Seriously, it's fine. I've been playing the guitar for ages, I know how to deal with a snapped string."

"B-but"

"Mmm I'm hungry, I'll just go grab something to eat like you said!"

"But Hir-"

"Later!" And before K could even begin to understand what had happened, Hiro had darted off.

_"That was weird..."_ he thought, looking at his own hand which was now stained with Hiro's blood. Then again, Hiro had been acting strange lately. At first K just thought he was working too hard. But it was becoming apparent through Hiro's actions that it was something deeper than that. It was almost as if he was trying to avoid K. This immediately made K wonder why. Was it something he'd said or done? As far as he could remember, nothing had happened. All these feelings were beginning to screw with K's mind and it was going to stop now. Now was the time for K to figure out his feelings towards Hiro."Operation: Decode Hiroshi Nakano is in action!" With that, K drew out his Magnum'44, laughing manically as he polished it.

* * *

Hiro sprinted down the huge corridors of N-G.

_"Shit that was close!" _Hiro thought as he stopped at a corner, having got a safe distance away from K. He leaned back against the wall for a few seconds as he caught his breath. During this time, he began to reflect on things, such as that incident. Him and K would usually have a laugh or at least a good chat during the lunch break. That was before Hiro's feelings for him had gone beyond that of a client. Then just like that, before he even knew it, he had fallen into a deep trance of love for K. Now he felt like he had to control himself around K in case he did something stupid. Recently him and K weren't laughing; Hiro would find himself trying to brush K aside. Hiro's feelings for K had become somewhat intolerable. Maybe it was because Hiro hated the feeling of being helpless. The feeling of being weak and pathetic. Maybe-

"Erm, Hiro?" As if out of nowhere, Shuichi's concerned face had appeared and a finger was prodding at Hiro. It was then that Hiro realised he had been scowling at the floor for ages, lost in his own thoughts.

"Hey Shuichi, what's up?" Hiro put on a happy face, knowing that if Shuichi got suspicious it would mean hours of mind-numbing probing.

"Where've you been all lunch? I'm starving!" Oh great. Shuichi was in complain mode. Only years of training and experience could teach you how to endure one of Shuichi's rants.

"Well I'm here now, so how about we go and get pizza?" Hiro asked.

"YAY PIZZA! Let's go!" Shuichi cried with joy, forgetting the fact that his band mate had been absent for half the break. Hiro chuckled at how light headed Shuichi was.

It was about halfway through the meal when Shuichi suddenly stated:

"You've been acting different lately." Hiro stopped eating momentarily before continuing to eat his pepperoni pizza. Shuichi frowned at the apparently deaf guitarist. Hiro hoped that if he ignored Shuichi's statement he would hopefully take the hint and change the subject."HIROOO ANSWER ME YOU MEANIEEE!" Shuichi cried out, looking as if he was about to burst into tears. Hiro knew that when Shuichi pulled that face, there was no escape.

"Look Shuichi, I'm fine. It's nothing you should get yourself into a state over." Hiro told Shuichi reassuringly, smiling warmly at him. Shuichi sighed, he knew that whatever the problem was, Hiro was probably right about it - after all he always was. But he couldn't help but wonder, was there something more than this? In a bid not to over think it, Shuichi decided to change the topic.

"So how's Ayaka?" he asked cheerfully, knowing how much Hiro loved her.

"She's...good." Hiro answered slowly. The honest answer was: he didn't know. He hadn't really met up with her for a while. He still spoke to her, but found their conversations dull and tedious, and that neither one of them really cared too much. As usual, Shuichi was as transparent as always, and grinned to himself.

"Awww you two are SOOO cute! So long has it been now?" He asked in anticipation.

"About...erm..." Hiro's eyes widened in shock. He didn't know! How was he gonna cover up this one? Before he could come up with an educated guess, Shuichi slammed down his hand and casted a look of horror towards Hiro.

"You don't know you despicable man! How can you not know?" He practically screeched. Before Hiro could conjure up a reply, the restaurant manager requested that the two of them left, due to them causing too much disruption. In an anger fueled response, Shuichi yelled in the managers face,

"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT I'M SHUICHI SHINDOU FOR GOD'S SAKE!" All heads suddenly turned to Shuichi and Hiro's table, eyes opening in amazement.

"Oh my God it's Shuichi Shindou!"

"And he's with Hiroshi Nakano!"

"GET THEM!" Before the pair could begin to comprehend what was happening, the were legging it out the restaurant in a desperate effort to escape the mob of frantic fan girls.

* * *

As Sakano paced anxiously around the room, K grew more and more impatient, reaching slowly towards his Magnum'44. Finally, two exhausted figures appeared through the door, panting heavily as they tried to regain their breath,

"Ahh, so glad you two finally decided to show up." K said happily as Sakano erupted into tears of joy. "What happened to you?" he asked curiously as he realised the state they were in.

"Well the master of sensitivity decided to blow our cover at the pizza place." Hiro growled sarcastically, pointing a finger at Shuichi.

"Grrrr don't you blame me you...you...PERSON!" Shuichi yelled, sulking at his best friend. The two of them were stopped by the sound of K loading his gun.

"I hope you two aren't feeling too bitter to actually get some work done? After all I would hate to have to intervene..." Shuichi immediately leeched onto Hiro in a bone crushing hug.

"Hahaha of course not K! See, me and Hiro are totally over it! La Li Lo!" Without a moments hesitation Shuichi skipped into one of the recording rooms to practice some songs with Suguru. Hiro began to follow him but was stopped by a steel revolver being pressed to his head. K had a cold look on his face.

"And just where do you think you're going?" he asked threateningly, tilting the gun slightly. Hiro looked at K with a dedpanned face.

"You should know by now that that thing doesn't scare me." Hiro said sounding irritated._"He never gives up, does he." _

"Hmmm but what about a surprise photo shoot? I bet there's loads of 'Lad - Mags' out there desperate for your picture..." K questioned with an evil grin on his face. He knew just how much Hiro despised photo shoots.

"What have I done that's gotten you so pissed off?" Hiro asked angrily. He seriously needed some space, K's presence felt almost unbearable.

"Hiro, I'm not trying to be mean - I'm worried about you." K's tone of voice in the last phrase sounded full of compassion. Hiro blushed heavily at this, feeling goosebumps forming on his skin.

"K, please can we discuss this later, I..." What was he saying? If he gave K any ideas then-

"Certainly. You can drop by my office when you're finished today." K suggested cheerfully as he removed the gun from Hiro's head.

"But I didn't-"

"And remember, you know how much I hate late musicians!" K called as he exited the room.

Hiro had just dug himself a hole. He knew there was no escaping - he had to go and face K. But what if he messed up and ended up coming on to K? What if K was to grab his Magnum '44 and murder him? Hiro then realised what he had just gotten himself into.

_"Shit."_

* * *

Hiro walked anxiously towards the door of K's office. He prayed that he wouldn't do anything stupid, but every time he looked at K, he found him utterly irresistible. Hiro often pondered over what it was that had made him fall in love with K. The first thing was those beautiful, deep blue eyes. Hiro could just get lost in them. K always knew how to brighten Hiro's day, and Hiro just loved how he always made him laugh. Whether it was with one of hilarious jokes or simply mixing up his English with his Japanese - K never failed to make Hiro smile. More than anything, K just...

_"...just.."_

...made him happy.

Nervously, Hiro knocked on the door."Ermm...K?" he asked, hoping there would be no answer.

"Ahh Hiroshi, come in!" K called warmly (much to Hiro's disappointment). This was it. Hiro took a deep breath before pushing down the handle of the door. He gave a small push and opened the wooden frame. K was sat at his desk, filling out some forms. He looked up with a small smile. Hiro couldn't help but smile back as he closed the door behind him.

"So what do you want?" Hiro asked, knowing that he had to just get this over with. K continued with his paperwork.

"I think you know why I called you here. So how about you get it off your chest already." he replied sharply. Anyone who knew K knew that when it came to matter such as these, he didn't mess about. Despite his fun loving attitude, he was serious when he had to be.

"Look K. With all due respect I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Hiro said bluntly. K stood up in an instant, walking towards Hiro slowly. Hiro gulped as he saw the expression on K's face. He was pissed off.

"Is that so?" K was now stood directly in front of Hiro, whose eyes were shifting uncomfortably."You know Hiro, I'm your manager. And managers don't let things like this slip. Because if we do then we're not doing our jobs properly, understand? So the least you could do is attempt to meet me halfway here." While K was strong and stern, Hiro was breaking down inside. What was he supposed to do? If only K knew how much he was crushing him."Now what's wrong? Why have you been so coldly lately? If I've done something then please just tell me." K looked at Hiro softly, his pain apparent in his silver eyes.

_"Why? Why does it have to be him? I can't...I can't take this..." _ Hiro was looking down at the floor, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Right now, he was crumbling to pieces as the guy - the guy he couldn't have - was staring right at him, under a metre away. He couldn't let K win, he had to be strong."Seriously...I'm fine." Hiro looked up in an attempt to make a confident eye contact. But those beautiful, worried eyes staring at him, that was all it took to make him crack. It was just too much. Salty tears formed at the brim of Hiro's eyes and began to trickle silently down his cheeks. Hiro didn't make a sound."I-I'm fine."

"You're crying." K stated caringly. Gently he brushed away a tear from Hiro's cheek. But all Hiro saw was his wedding ring. The thing that determined that K would never be his. And it burned him. K realised he had left his hand placed on Hiro's cheek longer that he should have done. Before he could remove it, Hiro grabbed his hand, and pulled it away, making firm eye contact with K. Then, Hiro lost control over all his actions as he did it. He did that one thing that would change his and K's life forever.

He kissed K.

He slowly lifted his head up and met K's lips with his own in a gentle kiss. K's eyes were nearly coming out of his sockets as he felt Hiro's soft lips on his. His body was frozen in shock, unable to react. Before K could figure out what to do, the sweet sensation ended as Hiro pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I just...I just had to know how it felt. I'll go now." Hiro turned and walked towards the door, knowing subconsciously that he shouldn't have done what he just did. Before he could think anymore, he felt a strong forceful hand grab him and turn him around. K looked at Hiro in awe.

_"That kiss..." _Never in K's life, had something felt so right. The sun was setting outside, casting an orange glow on Hiro's figure. Hiro looked beautiful. The way the light shone in those watery silver eyes was just perfect. Suddenly, K pulled Hiro towards him and crashed his lips onto his. Hiro could barely think, he was just lost in K's actions. This felt better than he had ever imagined. Hiro tilted his head back, allowing K to deepen the kiss. K weaved his fingers through Hiro's soft but thick red hair. Small moans escaped the kiss as Hiro enjoyed every second. As if Hiro hadn't lost enough control, he felt himself being marched backwards until he ended up pinned against a wall. The pair broke apart briefly, the need for oxygen becoming apparent. Before K continued his assault on the guitarist, Hiro confessed in a small gasp,

"I love you." He then let out a muffled groan as K claimed his lips once more. He allowed K entrance into his mouth as K indulged in the tastes. As the passion between the two rose, it was suddenly disrupted as there was a knock at the door.

"K-san! It's me Ryuichi - open up!" a happy, cheerful voice requested through the door. K immediately pulled away from Hiro as the door bursted open.

"Ryuichi." K greeted, forcing himself to sound happy as the singer ran up to glomp him. Ryuichi then turned to Hiro, who was still in a daze, recovering from what had just happened.

"Hey Hiro!" he chirped enthusiastically.

"H-hey." Hiro replied, gradually coming back down from his little cloud. Ryuichi studied Hiro closely, looking concerned.

"Hiroshi-kun looks like a strawberry! He should probably get some rest...mmm strawberries - Na no da!" K couldn't help but laugh at Ryuichi's remark - Hiro was blushing a deep red. Hiro gave an embarrassed laugh.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I'd best be going." Hiro then turned to K. "Um...see you later." Hiro said to him, looking one more time into those gorgeous eyes. He then turned towards the door and began to walk.

"Oh and Hiro!" K called, grabbing his attention. Hiro looked back at his manager.

"Yeah?"

"Goodnight." K said softly with a small smile painted on his lips. Hiro returned the smile before finally exiting the room. As Ryuichi blabbed on and on to K about Kumagurou and Hit Stage, all K thought about was Hiro.

_"I'm sorry."_

_

* * *

_**I finally wrote it. I have had that office scene in my head for soo long! Ohh how i love being a fangirl!**

**First off, about that first scene...I know what you're thinking - it was pretty lame. I guess I just wanted to create a feel of the awkwardness. And I couldn't think of a name for K's military operation. Please don't hate me _**

**And Lad-mag is a British way of saying magazine filled with sexy pics of the most gorgeous men in history. Such as Hiroshi Nakano. God I'm strange.**

**Review please! It makes me happy! :D  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey hey hey!**

**FINALLY I am updating this story. I have had mock exams and resits and lots of coursework but now I have a lot more time to write fanfiction! ^_^**

**Thank you and a quick shout out to all my lovely reviewers and the helpful advice and nice comments they have given me :) I don't have the time to reply to the reviews, so please don't be offended that I don't - I lOVES YOU! Okay thats a bit akward...  
**

**Oh and just a word of warning, there is quite a bit of swearing in this chapter. So don't say I didn't warn you.**

* * *

Hiro sighed to himself, trapped in his confusion. He had hardly had any sleep that night, that same scene kept replaying again and again in his head. He had memorised fully every single word that was spoken, The sensation of K's lips touching his own. It had been several hours after the event and Hiro's heart was still thumping, making his head pulse. He didn't know whether to be happy or worried. Why did K kiss him? Hiro was generally puzzled.

Deciding his mental discussion was going nowhere, Hiro clambered up out of bed, before going about his daily routine. He made his way to the bathroom, and squirted some toothpaste onto his toothbrush. As he brushed the fine bristles in between his gums, Hiro couldn't help but feel a tingling inside of him, almost like butterflies in his stomach.

"He kissed me!" he giggled childishly. Well, "kissed" was a bit of an understatement, "made out" was slightly more accurate. But this couldn't have been some drunken mistake, Hiro could feel the passion and affection behind K's actions._"Maybe...he does care..." _

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Hiro immediately snapped out of his thoughts. He looked at himself in the mirror and realised there was a trail of toothpaste dribbling from his lips. He immediately rinsed his mouth out had wiped his face. He then fixed up his hair, backcombing it at places to give it that volume. He got into a bit of a fight with his T-shirt, as he tried to get it on as quick as possible. Together with his jeans, boots and of course his leather jacket, Hiro stopped to look at himself again in the mirror. The shirt he was wearing had the kanji for "Superman" written on. Hiro smiled, knowing he looked both cool and cute. Wait a minute!_ "I don't look like I'm trying to impress him, do I?" _Hiro never dressed to impress, he just wore what was comfy. His oufits were never special or super cool, it was him wearing them that made it look so gorgeous. Deep down, Hiro knew this (as he was constantly told this by fans) but he was way too modest to admit it. Deciding there was nothing different about what he was wearing, he quickly ran to the door, with the keys for his motorbike in hand.

* * *

K was sat at the table, looking incredibly anxious. He was on his third cup of coffee, and still couldn't think straight. Suguru had noticed this but refrained from speaking, not wanting to get on the wrong side of his manager. One thing everyone knew about K, you did not want to be the one who put him in a bad mood. K tried to read the details of some commercial that a company wanted Bad Luck to feature in, but his mind was side tracked with what had happened the previous night.

_"What have I done?"_ he thought worriedly. He was almost old enough to be Hiro's father - Hiro was a child compared to him! He couldn't think what had come over him when he had kissed Hiro. Well, tongue-hacked him. He reached for his cigarette pack, but withdrew his hand, knowing no matter how many he smoked, he wouldn't feel anymore relaxed._"Maybe...I really have..." _NO! He was married to one of the worlds most beautiful women, and had a little boy who he loved! It was just his hormones. That's it! He'd spent so long away from Judy, he needed a bit of release that was all. And Hiro, he's a good looking guy who he really respected and liked. So, things just got out of hand and he kissed him...

_"But, it wasn't like any other kiss..." _Something felt different with Hiro. There was something there that he had never felt before._"Grrr I'm thinking too much!" _

All of a sudden, everything just stopped. It hit him.

_"I love you!"_

Hiro was in love with him. K suddenly realised the seriousness of what he had done. When he kissed Hiro, he was completely sober and knew exactly what he was doing. What was he going to say? He was married, he couldn't go messing around with other people, especially Hiro. If anything started between them and the press found out!...K didn't want to imagine what would happen to Hiro.

_"I guess, I'll just have to do it..."_

He had to make sure that first kiss, was their last.

* * *

Hiro felt more nervous walking into N-G today than he had on his first day. He knew things were going to be awkward. But, K had accepted his feelings so, did that mean they would be together? _"Maybe..."_ Hiro thought. He then mentally slapped himself for being so optimistic. K was married! And although he had never seen Judy in person, Shuichi said she was stunning. Hiro sighed, deciding it was best to just go about things his usual way: keep smiling and see what happens. Hiro felt a glomp of despair latch on to him.

"Hiro..." Shuichi said, looking dead. Hiro rolled his eyes at Shuichi's "Ask me what's wrong" expression.

"What happened?" Hiro asked half concerned, knowing what the answer would be

"Yuki...said my...Totoro plushie...WAS AN UGLY PIECE OF CRAP!" Shuichi wailed, clearly hurt by Yuki's harsh comments. Hiro was fighting laughter as he knew that Shuichi would be very hurt if he did."A-and he said if I don't get rid of it, it'll take a trip in the oven!" Shuichi's eyes were leaking with tears as bawled over his teddy.

"I'm afraid I can't help you there Shuichi. I guess you'll have to try and come to an agreement." he replied, with the straightest face possible. Shuichi opened his mouth to rant at Hiro for not being more sympathetic but was silenced by K approaching them. Hiro gulped nervously whilst Shuichi gave a very false laugh.

"Ahahaha K-san! I-I was just..."

"Getting to work I presume?" K asked threateningly, his firearm in hand.

"Yes, right away!" Shuichi cried as he ran to the recording room where Suguru was already seated. K turned to Hiro, who hadn't said a word. Hiro's eyes shifted around anxiously, a small blush on his cheeks as he thought of the best way to overcome the akwardness.

"Hiro." K spoke his name. This alerted Hiro immediately.

"Y-yes?"

"We need to talk."

_

* * *

"And I thought yesterday was going to be scary..." _Hiro thought as he took a seat in K's office. K was smoking a cigarette, faint signs of stress were showing.

"Yesterday...things got a bit out of hand." K started, still not sure how to say what he wanted to say."Hiro look, a scandal like this could ruin both Bad Luck and me, and neither of us want that to happen." K took a deep breath."That kiss...didn't happen. You understand?" Hiro looked up at K, having previously been staring at the floor. He could feel his heart breaking as K's words hammered it with coldness.

"Y-yeah...I...I understand..." Hiro replied back, his soul knowing it's only option was to admit defeat. He tried his hardest to mask his pain, but K could easily see the hurt on Hiro's face.

"Well, as long as we know where we stand now." K said. There was an atagonising silence as neither of them knew what to say. Eventually, Hiro broke the silence.

"Umm...K...can I ask you something?" Hiro's timid sounding voice questioned. K smiled despite not being happy at all.

"Of course."

"Well...Why? Just why did you kiss me? I...I don't understand..."

_"Fuck." _That was the one question that K had hoped, no prayed that Hiro wouldn't ask. Because K himself didn't know the answer."Well, weren't you the one who kissed me?" K challenged, hoping Hiro would take the bait.

"Well, yeah but I stopped and walked away. And then you grabbed me and...well that wasn't really a kiss...I mean, you were pulling me!" Hiro felt something start to rise inside him. He looked K in the eye, hoping it would maybe psyche him out a little.

"I...I don't know...I..." K had to think fast."I guess it's been a while since I've seen Judy and you kissing me just triggered...well my hormones I guess." Shit shit shit! K knew as he said it that this was going to piss Hiro off.

"Oh I see, so I'm just a stand in for your wife?" Hiro spat, the hurt evident in his voice. He felt genuinely insulted.

"Come on Hiro, don't be like this." K resorted to trying to calm him down, but Hiro was having none of it.

"Well next time you're feeling lonely, play with someone elses feelings, okay?" he snapped coldly. K stood up, anger building up inside of him.

"Hey don't get pissy just because things haven't gone your way!" Hiro ignored him and began to get up. In a moment of frustration, K shouted,"You know what Hiro, I think you need to grow up! I mean, did you seriously delude yourself into thinking we'd be together?" K instantly stopped, realising what he'd just said, and how awful it was. He saw Hiro's upset, taken aback expression and felt dreadful. "L-look Hiro that came out wro-"

"No it didn't, that was exactly what you meant." Hiro immediately interrupted. He could feel a lump in his throat but refused to cry. His voice shook and broke as he began to speak."J-Just 'cause I'm y-younger, it doesn't m-mean...Look, I-I know I can be naive and i-its stupid, b-but I..." Suddenly, his blood began to boil again."...I thought you were different! I thought you'd understand but you're just like everyone else!"

"Hiro-"

"I was a FOOL, too think that I could ever trust you!" Oh no. Hiro could feel the tears coming but was just managing to hold them back."I know it was stupid to fall in love with you but I can't help it! I don't know why - if I did I swear to God I'd stop but I can't! SO DEAL WITH IT!" he yelled at his manager. He could barely process what he was shouting, the words just rolled off his tongue. He took a moment to catch is breath, as he was so angry he's forgotten to even breathe. K was speechless, knowing that nothing he could say would make anyone feel any better. "Excuse me." And with that Hiro left the room, his head hung low in shame, knowing he had let his temper get the better of him. K let out a huge sigh, inhaling on his cigarette as he rested his head on the palm of his hand. He felt terrible for upsetting Hiro - he knew what he'd done was completely wrong.

_"I'm sorry Hiro...but it's because __I__ don't want to hurt you even more..."

* * *

_**Dun dun DUUN! **

**So yeah now the drama's kicking off. I'm sorry if their big argument was a bit crappy. WAAAH this was depressing to write :'(**

**Maybe a few reviews will cheer me up, hint hint. ;)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**OMG AN UPDATE!**

**Yes I am back! But not for long as unfortunately my GCSEs start tomorrow _ I will try to work on fanfics in between revision. Wish me luck! ^_^**

**Enough of the happiness, now time for some drama!  
**

* * *

As a result of their heated argument that morning, Hiro and K's afternoon had been very quiet. K was still trying to be himself and seemed almost unaffected by the morning's event. Hiro however, had been very quiet. His conversations with Shuichi and Suguru had been much shorter, as his efforts to appear cheerful had been fruitless. He didn't look sad or upset - he looked more phased and unsure of things. K was fighting in his mind about whether or not to apologise to Hiro. He just didn't know if it would make things worse. Maybe it was best to just leave things how they were and just hope that it would all blow over after a while. After all, talking to Hiro was near impossible as Hiro had been using every excuse to avoid him. Occasionally, K would get the chance to speak to him, but when he looked at Hiro and saw the sadness in his eyes, it hurt him and the words would not come out.

_"Why did I say that?" _he though frustratedly. He felt truly awful for saying such a a horrible thing to Hiro - espescially when he was the one who had really caused the whole mess, not Hiro. He should've never kissed Hiro back. But why? Just why did he? K still couldn't answer that question. He didn't know what had come over him. It was if somthing inside him had taken control of his actions.

NO!

K stopped. No. No. _"I..I'm not."_

There was no way.

He wasn't.

He couldn't be.

_"I'm...not in..."_

He had a wife and son. He loved them - not Hiro!

He was straight.

_"I'm...I'm not in love...with him..."_

* * *

It was as Hiro was leaving the N-G building that he was approached by his pink haired friend.

"Hey Hiro, wait up!" Shuichi called as Hiro was about to mount his motor bike. Hiro put on a smile as he turned to face the singer.

"Hey, whats up?" Hiro asked Shuichi, expecting some well devised excuse so he he could get a lift from him and crash at his for the night. But instead he got the opposite.

"Ermm, Hiro - could you come over?" Shuichi asked - like he had something on his mind. Hiro sighed, knowing there would be lots of cursing from Yuki for this.

"Yeah, sure." he answered, signalling for Shuichi to hop on the back of his bike. Hiro noticed that Shuichi's smile was broken. Maybe him and Yuki had had an argument. If that was the case, then he would have asked to come over to his. Something serious must have happened - there was no other explanation. But it was unlike Shuichi to be depressed. Hiro pondered over what was causing Shuichi's sadness for the rest of the journey.

Suprisingly, Yuki was relatively content with Hiro coming over, providing they didn't make too much noise as he had an overdue deadline which he was trying to meet.

_"Maybe something bad has happened." _ Hiro thought. As Shuichi poured tea, Hiro finally asked, "So what's wrong?"

Shuichi instantly looked up at him with an unusually sincere expression on his face. He put down the teapot before looking Hiro straight in the eye.

"Look Hiro. We've been friends for as long as I can remember. And everytime I've had a problem, you've always listened and helped me. So I want to do the same for you."

Shuichi took a deep breath before continuing: "For the past couple of weeks, you've been a bit out of character. I kept ignoring it thinking that if there was something wrong, you'd tell me. But you never did, and you kept getting worse and worese until today I just - I just had to say something! And the more you say it's okay, the more worried I get. So please Hiro, just tell me what's happened."

Hiro was speechless. Never in his life had Shuichi seemed so insightful. Hiro felt quite guilty for making Shuichi worry. Deep down he knew he should've probably told Shuichi from thes start what was wrong. But something kept stopping - denial maybe? Hiro opened his mouth to speak, breaking the tension which had fallen upon them.

"W-well I...I don't know how to say it..." he started. He wasn't trying to be awkward, he seriously had no idea how to explain it. Shuichi smiled at him encouragingly.

"Just say it. I promise I'll keep it a secret if you want me to. I just want to know." Shuichi had that look on his face that said: _If you don't tell me I'll never speak to you again._ Hiro took a deep breath.

"W-well...I...there's someone w-who I..." Hiro stopped as he felt something burning in his throat. No. He'd come this far. He'd been rejected so he would move on like anyone else. Hiro refused to cry over him. Shuchi had been grinning sheepishly until he saw the hurt in Hiro's eyes.

"Who? Is it someone I know?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah... we both know him...w-wait-"

"Ohhh I get it." Shuichi sighed, thinking he had got it all sussed out. "Hiro, it's nothing to get depressed about - if you're gay!" Shuichi chuckled.

"No!" Hiro suddenly bursted out. Shuichi's smile immediately dropped. "It's not...I..." No. Hiro wasn't going to let tears fall out. "You...you don't understand..."

"Well then help me to." Shuichi put his hand on Hiro's arm comfortingly. Hiro took another breath as he gathered up all his courage to tell Shuichi the truth.

"I...me and...me and..." Hiro hung his head low, so as Shuichi couldn't see his saddened face.

"You and who?" Shuichi asked,trying to look at his friend who had hidden his face.

"I...I love..." Hiro couldn't get the name out. _"No chickening out." _Hiro thought as he desperately tried to gather his words. "I-I know it's...this sounds insane b-but..."

_"Did you seriously delude yourseld into thiking we'd be together?"_

That sharp voice, those harsh words - they rang through Hiro's head as he forced out the truth.

"I...I love...K..." he finally managed. But as soon as he said it, the unshed tears that had been piling up flooded out of his eyes as Hiro fell apart. Shuichi was shocked and had absolutely no idea what to say. He noticed Hiro was trembling slightly.

"Erm...Hiro...are you-"

All of a sudden, Hiro's sobbing became very audible.

"I love him so much!" he cried, not caring about his pride anymore. "A-and when he k-kissed me I...I-I wanted it to be true!" he exclaimed in emotional agony. Shuichi opened his arms, offering a hug as he realised that something more had happened. Hiro accepted his offer as he rested his head on Shuichi's shoulder. "And then today he s-said I w-was...h-he said I was an i-idiot for thinkin I-I ever h-had a chance!" Shuichi was nearly in tears himself as he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Hiro..."  
"I know it...it sounds ridiculous but I...I thought maybe for once my feelings would be returned." Hiro's crying had gotten heavier as he could no longer contain his emotions."Why is it...that every person I fall in love with...isn't mine to have?..." Shuichi held him even closer.

"Hiro...I'm so sorry..." Shuichi said softly, his tone filled with sympathy. Hiro simply rested his head on his best friend's shoulder, and cried until all the tears were gone. He blushed, embarassed that he had let Shuichi see him like this.

"I...I...um" he laughed awkwardly. Shuichi smiled gently, secretly amused by Hiro's cute bashfulness.

"It's okay." he reassured him, upholding his joyful smile. "Now let's get some ramen!" Shuichi announced, as if Hiro's outburst hadn't happened. Hiro chuckled softly.

"Yeah, sure." Hiro knew that this was Shuichi's own sweet way of cheering people up. The pair ate and drank contentedly and soon Shuichi was was seeing Hiro out of the appartment. As he waved one more time, he felt Yuki's arms around him.

"So it's all sorted now?" he asked, running a finger through his lovers hair.

"Yeah..." he replied, enjoying the sentimental side of Yuki which was rarely shown.

"In that case, get some sleep! I don't want anymore midnight breakdowns - your snoring is annoying enough as it is!" Yuki growled through barred teeth.

"Wha- YUKI!"

* * *

K groaned inwardly as he listened to Judy moan about her new hair.

"Oh... no dear, I'm sure it looks lovely." he recited set responses as he listened.

"Oh, and K?"

"Yes?"

"You better get ready as tomorrow I'm landing in Japan!"

Was she having a laugh?

"What...t-tomorrow?" he stammered.

"Yes! well I have to go so I'll see you then!"

"B-but Judy-"

"Bye!" The phone hung up.

Judy was coming tomorrow. She couldn't have picked a worse time. K now seriously wished he had rung her earlier.

There was only one choice. He would have to wait and see what was going to happe.

Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good.

_"Shit."_

* * *

**I seriously need to stop ending paragraphs with the word "shit".**

**Sorry if this chapter was a bit of a let down . I promise the story wil get more interesting.**

**Maybe some reviews would help motivate my revision? :3**

**See you later!**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox  
**


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